I believe that my two daughters have helped me stay young at heart and spirit – when they were little and I ran around with them, and now that they’re vibrant young women. They’ve exposed me to the latest music, fashion, hair, and tech trends. They tell me when to dump outdated clothes and to stop calling myself old on days when I don’t feel so perky. And when I see them with their friends, full of life and excitement about what lies ahead, it reminds me that I can still feel like that and that age is just a state of mind.
Whether you have daughters, sons, nieces, nephews, younger colleagues or neighbors, I highly recommend that you find opportunities to enjoy the company of those younger than you as often as possible. It not only enriches your life, but gives them a chance to see the world through your eyes – bridging the gap between the difference in years and reminding us all that age really is just a number.
Here’s a lovely story written by Kelci Wihera, my 35-year-old friend, about her adventures in SF with her 70-year-old mother-in-law.
As the four of us piled into my mother-in-law’s wine colored Kia, anticipation built for the day ahead. My mother-in-law, Debbie - a woman of 70 who enjoys her daily walks, the occasional puzzle, and nightly glass of Alfaro pinot noir - has done what sometimes feels like the impossible. She has managed to find a day when all three of her sons’ significant others’ calendars are free of prior commitments.
The only thing we, her three companions, share in common is that we were brought together by Debbie’s sons. Other than that, there really isn’t anything that would have allowed our paths to cross. There’s Elle, a professional pastry chef who is dating the youngest; Elaine, the biochemist with a PhD from UC Berkeley who is married to the middle of the 3 brothers. And there’s me, Kelci, married to the eldest son, with a love of art, history, and most importantly, Alfaro wine.
When our odd little group was on our way to see the Guo Pei: Couture Fantasy exhibit at the Legion of Honor in San Francisco, I realized how wonderful it was that we could all come together and find an activity like this to share.
As the Guo Pei exhibit was so popular, we learned when we arrived that we’d have to wait several hours before we could enter the private collection, so we decided to walk through the museum in the meantime.To our delight, we found several of Guo Pei’s pieces sprinkled throughout the museum’s permanent art collection.
In no time at all, we discovered that each of us focused on different aspects of the art. The technique, the craftsmanship, the history, and the sheer beauty. Rarely do we agree on a single piece to admire, but we shared our thoughts and feelings on the masterpieces surrounding us with enthusiasm all the same. I could see the joy in Debbie’s eyes as she passed multiple gowns, appreciating them for their uniqueness and individuality.
There was one particular dress that drew us together - the “Da Jin” gown from Guo Pei’s first full runway collection, Samsara. Also known as the million dollar gown, this piece helped to catapult Guo Pei into the world of Haute Couture in 2006 and gave her the label of “China’s first couturier.”
After leisurely lunching in the museum cafe, complete with pinot noir, it was finally time to enter the actual Guo Pei exhibit.
Walking into the first gallery as a group, we quickly and without intention split up. It was difficult to pay attention to anything other than the surreal outfits that surrounded us. Each gallery was more fantastic than the last.
Throughout the exhibit we would occasionally find another from our foursome and admire a piece or two together, sharing several comments before wandering off to explore on our own again. Finally, in the last gallery we reunited and our intent turned to memorializing the day with a selfie. We all decided it should be among Guo Pei’s Fall 2018 couture collection as it contained elements that we all found beautiful in one way or another.
Exiting the museum it occurred to me that this was the first time the four of us had spent a day together, where it was just us. I wondered why it had taken us this long to ditch the men in our lives and have a girls’ day. Just as Guo Pei pulled together the best of multiple inspirations, Debbie had pulled us together, to create something that was unexpected and delightful.
Debbie not only curated the group for the day, but she was one of us - enjoying the day as one of the girls. While there were at times discussions about our relationships with her sons; it never felt like we were conversing with a “mother-in-law,” but rather a good friend.
I realized that Debbie was so relatable because she enriches her life by sharing treasured experiences with others, regardless of age or background. She later told me she intentionally surrounds herself with people of all ages as the diversity helps keep her youthful.
As we drove home together, a warm fuzzy feeling of intoxication permeated the car - not from the wine at lunch, but rather from a day filled with shared memories. We learned so much during our day at the museum, about the artwork and each other. And we strengthened our bond with Debbie beyond a mother-in-law, but as a friend.
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